Some quotes that can make your day

''My brother got kicked out of Barnes and Noble for placing bibles in the fiction section.''

 ''Today, my mom decided to let out a huge samurai yell when cutting the watermelon.''

''My friend said he'd give me 20 bucks if I would ask out the ugliest girl in school. I did it. She rejected me.''

''I farted while I was in line at the bank. I tried to pretend it wasn't me by looking at the man behind me and turning back with a disgusted look on my face. I thought I had gotten away with it when the man yells "It wasn't me, this bitch did it"

''My year old said, “I don’t really believe in God. I don’t think that God exists. I think he’s made up. Maybe we should ask Santa.”

''I saw two teenagers stopped at a green light at a major road, honking at and flipping off an old man crossing slowly. As a result, the old man dropped his pants and mooned the youngsters.''

 Source: www.justmademelaugh.com